When the lights are out
And you go deep down the valley of dark
Just remember there’re some things waiting for you,
A mellowed heart, a smile for you, a quote for you, a little ounce of memoir for you,
If this is not all, I’ll be here all for you to take away the pain, the grief, the heartache,
The misery, the hurt, the anguish……….ALL
Confused Mind.. (cOnTiNuEd..)
waking up today was so very difficult for her, she went to the loo and came back, to sleep! Too lethargic dawn for getting up, drawing curtains or looking out of the balcony. With heavy heart (body) made her morning cuppa, sat on the sofa, she took the remote very slowly and started surfing for anything interesting.. oblivious to the world around, time, morning chores.. nothing! after few changes she could stop onto something good “coffee” .. watching her favorite guy, his charisma, lover boy looks and those crooked teeth 🙂
hour and a half later she mustered some energy to go for a hot shower, immersing herself to get all fresh and joyful.. nothing changed! Cab arrived and she just rushed for her work. looking out of the cab, all the memories started flashing of the good times, bad times, what could have been, what is.. gauging at the sky she couldn’t stop but get that out.. that ill feeling, that confused state, that question! Yes! was the answer, she felt just gleeful, blushing on her own, feeling ecstatic, happy, back to her life. Little does she know about her that it is not easy to give the life a MISS! Those are the breathe, the blood, that warmth to keep her alive…
Confused Mind..
To be continued..
Today the woman just went without any thoughts, no plans and the way the day would turn up to be. She wanted herself to immerse deeply in her work. The day started with normal emails, calls, meetings, and ya of course her most time consuming task of making comparatives.
half the day through she felt something not right, some beats missing. She did not stop doing the things she was doing so that the work keeps her engaged and her heart don’t think about the puzzles which kept coming to her for the last one week.
Confusing this is but yes not something which can be taken away from her. Life without this chaos in her life is just impossible. The more she thinks the more it becomes difficult and finally makes her chose a different path altogether. Her heart says that it is right and her mind.. takes her…
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Confused Mind..
Today the woman just went without any thoughts, no plans and the way the day would turn up to be. She wanted herself to immerse deeply in her work. The day started with normal emails, calls, meetings, and ya of course her most time consuming task of making comparatives.
half the day through she felt something not right, some beats missing. She did not stop doing the things she was doing so that the work keeps her engaged and her heart don’t think about the puzzles which kept coming to her for the last one week.
Confusing this is but yes not something which can be taken away from her. Life without this chaos in her life is just impossible. The more she thinks the more it becomes difficult and finally makes her chose a different path altogether. Her heart says that it is right and her mind.. takes her away from it. Always having this after thoughts makes her delve deeper into the state of her being. Not knowing what could become of her life without “it” she just engages into this oblivion every now and then. Goes deep into the dark hole, sadistic ways, dull days, lazy nights, nothing for her to look forward… n life goes on!
Kids…
i am scribbling this while listening to the little one in my home.. he is enacting his sister and gesturing towards her in a teasing manner. I just recalled myself when i used to do the same with my sister. Teasing, fighting, being naughty, but she’s been mature, kind, elderly, too grown up for her age. she’s always a good sis and a daughter. obedient, loving, taking care of me and the house while our mom was away for work. I was the little brat who’d like always to be pampered by everyone.. and they did too!!
Today whenever i think her of being away from us all alone in a foreign land just wish that I could be by her side someway. wish some day i can do all that she did for me. God just give me those moments so that I can love her the way she did!!
PAPA
Parent and protecting always. Real meaning of this term can be known as you miss that protecting hand around you. The protection, the shield you always had in real is only a feeling now. Though the shield will always be there for you and the guardian angel to provide for all that you need but the lacuna cannot be filled by any other means. He left without any traces of sorrow or letting us prepare for it. We’ve not even known that he’ll leave us so soon. He said he’s fine, he’s okay, gesturing with a thumbs up sign. Papa why did you leave us to weep and to think of all that we could not do for you. I just wish that one more chance the one time – when I could hold your hand, hug you and tell you that I loved you a lot. You’re the reason for my confidence, the strength, the wisdom and all that I hold. Your blessings bestowed and showered and turned it into a positive one.
Alone and flowing
This is the path I dreaded and never ever thought this could be something I will have to face. He always was that energetic, lively and active which always made us believe he will live more than me. Health issues or lethargy was something I always had and still have, he was never down and out. Though age had caught up and got him into many illnesses still with his active lifestyle, meditation, yoga and the likes he was maintaining himself well. The day he had his first attack I still remember he was sitting on the stairs with shortness of breath, looking pale. I immediately asked him to go to the docs but he just said will go later, just tired only. Next day still I insisted and took him to the doc and there we discovered the first time his heart condition. He was being asked to undergo angiogram and later went into angioplasty. He always was dead against hospitals and doctors, here also he never wanted to be staying but the doctors wanted to observe him and see for any complications. But because of his adamancy they discharged him within a span of 12 days. Though his oxygen levels were very low.
Again after reaching home he never took complete rest and relax. He was always on the move, going to markets, walking, looking after his plants. Never did he realize that these chores were harmful for his health. Even he wanted food out of the diet prescribed. I also feel guilty for giving him whatever he wanted. But yes at least today I am satisfied that he could have whatever he wanted as his last wish. We all know that there is an aura created before someone leaves us and these all were the indications. He acted and said many things which directs us to think now that he waited for his last anxiously. Today I sit alone, looking at the things he wrote, his pictures, his scribbling, his songs, all remind me of his stature, never letting me a single moment to forget him. He lived and loved me and still he is with me all the
time.
Lo & Behold
Looking at the morning sun
Oblivious of anything around
The sun, keeping its morning glory, its risen with the hope,
I keep sitting all alone, gazing straight at the sky,
Looking at the clouds, thinking of the time,
Wish I could see the face sublime.
Past through the horizon the ends meet,
You cannot tell if you’d be able to reach.
Faith is the substance of things hoped for,
This I remember as a lore.
Still Believe all that is imbibed, that is taught, only that things we hope for it’d never come back.
Again gazing the night sky, I see the twinkling star,
The moon in all its glory and with the scar,
Trying to find that face devout,
Having the rekindled hope,
And lo & behold I find that image divine.
Introduce Yourself (Example Post)
This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.
You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.
Why do this?
- Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
- Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.
The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.
To help you get started, here are a few questions:
- Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
- What topics do you think you’ll write about?
- Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
- If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?
You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.
Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.
When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.
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