Alone and flowing

This is the path I dreaded and never ever thought this could be something I will have to face. He always was that energetic, lively and active which always made us believe he will live more than me. Health issues or lethargy was something I always had and still have, he was never down and out. Though age had caught up and got him into many illnesses still with his active lifestyle, meditation, yoga and the likes he was maintaining himself well. The day he had his first attack I still remember he was sitting on the stairs with shortness of breath, looking pale. I immediately asked him to go to the docs but he just said will go later, just tired only. Next day still I insisted and took him to the doc and there we discovered the first time his heart condition. He was being asked to undergo angiogram and later went into angioplasty. He always was dead against hospitals and doctors, here also he never wanted to be staying but the doctors wanted to observe him and see for any complications. But because of his adamancy they discharged him within a span of 12 days. Though his oxygen levels were very low.

Again after reaching home he never took complete rest and relax. He was always on the move, going to markets, walking, looking after his plants. Never did he realize that these chores were harmful for his health. Even he wanted food out of the diet prescribed. I also feel guilty for giving him whatever he wanted. But yes at least today I am satisfied that he could have whatever he wanted as his last wish. We all know that there is an aura created before someone leaves us and these all were the indications. He acted and said many things which directs us to think now that he waited for his last anxiously. Today I sit alone, looking at the things he wrote, his pictures, his scribbling, his songs, all remind me of his stature, never letting me a single moment to forget him. He lived and loved me and still he is with me all the

time.